The Mindy Project - Why is it so uncomfortable?

 

As the title suggests, this post is going to attempt to take a bit of a deep dive into The Mindy Project. Although, it'll probably be quite shallow in reality as I’ve not seen that much of this show due to some very unsettling elements that I'll be getting into shortly...

‘TMP’ ran from 2012 to 2017 and was pretty popular, as far as I can gather. There were lots of famous names and familiar faces appearing in both prominent and supporting/guest roles, including Mindy Kaling in the titular role and Ike Barinholtz (from The Afterparty and the super underrated Friends from College) as one of the leads. Chris Messina (who was in the incredible Celeste and Jesse Forever) plays a main role as well and some other familiar faces, such as Ben Feldman (Jonah in Superstore), the always wonderful Cristin Milioti (How I met your Mother, Palm Springs*) and the iconic Rhea Perlman (who recently appeared in the new Barbie movie) all appear in the show too. Therefore, although I hadn’t watched any of ‘TMP’ until the beginning of this year, there were a lot of things that made me wonder if it would be up my street as there were a lot of good people in it, the premise sounded fun and appealing with Mindy Kaling (playing a character with the same first name) as Dr Lahiri, who’s a competent but 'quirky and relatable' doctor who loves romcoms and is interested in how her relationships compare to those in her favourite romcoms and how romcoms have influenced her dating life. 

However, from just the few episodes that I watched of this show and the clips and plotpoints that I saw and heard about, it didn’t take me long to become so uncomfortable by the ‘love story’ between Mindy Lahiri and her main love interest, Danny (Messina), that I couldn’t believe how popular the show and even their relationship had been since it aired. For instance, even those who had some issues with their relationship and how it played out and/or Danny’s characterisation seemed to mainly feel that he had at least started out as a nice character and that they made him less likeable because the actor had to leave the show for a bit (even though, from what I saw in the first episode, he always sucked and was a walking red flag right away as he fatshames Mindy in that aforementioned first episode and he's often very insulting towards her, which is shown in flashbacks to when they first met as well). I haven’t really watched any of the other shows that Mindy Kaling has created and/or featured in but I’ve heard some of the understandable concerns from viewers about how she only ever seems to put the young women of colour in her shows into relationships with douchey, sometimes sexist white men with very few exceptions or deviations from that and this seems to be the case with 'TMP’ as well. Mindy L and Danny are both doctors and seem to have wildly different personalities outside of their work but it’s far from a wholesome opposites attract story. Some of the things that he puts her through and does to her over the course of the show include and are not limited to-  Catfishing and standing her up, not supporting her career/messing up her chances for a great work opportunity, not respecting her birth plan at all when she’s pregnant with his child and trying to make her go into labour before she’s ready without her knowing and against her wishes. Then, when they have their kid (a son called Leo), he manipulates and coerces her into giving up her career to stay at home with Leo full-time and then tries to make her feel and look bad and insults and disrespects her almost continually when she does stay at home with their son for a while. As if all that wasn’t bad enough, he then tries to get her pregnant again without her consent/knowledge and of course has the audacity to act like it’s her fault for having a problem with that and calls her selfish for not wanting to sacrifice her career or have another kid right away.

Wow, he sounds great doesn’t he?! I can’t even believe that this was a real TV ‘ship’ that people rooted for and even made fan videos of, it’s so wild to me. Not to mention that (spoilers ahead, sorry) they still end up together in the finale even after everything that he's put her through and their last conversation is far from sweet as he’s still unwilling to compromise/sacrifice for her and seems to expect her to change her name if they get married. Of course, if anyone who’s seen more of the show has anything to add or wants to disagree with something I’ve said here, then feel free to do so in the comments (but please keep it civil) but I don’t see how them ending up together could really sit right with anyone after the way their relationship was written and his behaviour towards her. 

Thanks for sticking with my rant, sorry if this one was a bit negative, I’ll be back with some shows I love next time…

*This movie is just the best and I can't recommend it enough if you haven't seen it. Cristin Milioti is SO great in it (although to be fair, she's brilliant in everything she's in).