How modern are the ‘Modern Family’ fam?

Well, this might be one of my most divisive posts, haha, (especially as I’ve seen so much love for this show) and so I want to say that I do enjoy it as well. In fact, it was probably one of my faves for a while and I still laugh and enjoy it when I stick on an occasional episode (which I sometimes do now that it’s on Disney). It’s still a very funny and heartwarming show and I’ve got plenty of good things to say about it too. 🙂

However, I’m going to start with the negatives to get that out of the way as this will probably be a lot more unpopular so here we go…

What are arguably the least modern aspects of ‘Modern Family’? (2009-2020)

  Claire and Phil- Speaking of unpopular opinions, this may be the kicker. Now it’s true that they have plenty of great moments but it’s been interesting to see just how much love and hype there’s been for them lately. This is because, personally, I’m not sure if they really subvert the old-fashioned marital stereotypes as much as people claim. For instance, Claire takes on the bulk of the housework and the parenting re their three kids (Haley, Alex and Luke) and Phil doesn’t always seem to respect the work Claire’s put in for the time that she’s been a stay at home parent (eg calling it a vacation, expecting her to make dinner when she does try working outside of the house). Claire’s also often expected to apologise or make it up to Phil and even though he gets described as the romantic, she does a lot of great gestures for him.  Speaking of Phil, while he is a fun, kind guy with many awesome moments and is much better than a lot of sitcom men, he can also be pretty overhyped and overrated, imo. This is especially the case now that we’ve seen more sitcom men over the last few years who are also super funny, kind and devoted but who lack some of Phil’s slightly problematic attitudes or tendencies (eg Chidi (The Good Place), Gregory (Abbott Elementary), Ben (Parks and Rec), Jonah (Superstore) and of course the kindest, most selfless and feminist king of all sitcom men- Jake (Brooklyn 99)

For example, while Phil is devoted to Claire, he has a tendency to get easily distracted by women that he finds attractive, including Gloria (the much younger second wife of Claire’s Dad, Jay). He does make quite a few almost suggestive comments about Gloria with an occasional, slight implication that he’s more attracted to her than he is to Claire. Also, even if he doesn’t mean to insult her, he makes a fair few borderline disrespectful comments to Claire and a lot of what people praise so much about him is pretty bare minimum stuff and arguably says more about how low the bar is for real and fictional men and fathers than it really does about Phil.  

  The role of the female characters- This show’s far from being the worst in terms of sexism but it’s not exactly the most feminist one either. For instance, sisters, Haley and Alex, are often portrayed in pretty simplistic ways, with Alex being the academic, over-achieving ‘nerdier’ one and Haley being the ‘pretty’, popular, ‘less intelligent’ one who jokes about Alex not getting dates. So ultimately, while they do have lots of good scenes together and Alex’s intelligence and accomplishments are important and earned while also showing some different sides to her, it’s pretty disappointing that the show didn’t do as much as it could have to challenge these stereotypes. This is especially frustrating as Haley never really got to pursue any of the interests, talents or goals that were hinted at with her different plotlines throughout the show and instead ended up with a surprise pregnancy and less emphasis on her career (which Sarah Hyland, who played Haley, actually brought up herself, proving that she also wanted 'MF' to show Haley killing it in her dream job in the fashion world).

  Stereotypes-As I’ve touched on a bit, the show isn’t immune to the odd stereotype and this comes through with some of the ‘jokes’ about race, ethnicity and sexuality. For instance, Gloria’s from Colombia and there are a fair few stereotypical lines in the show about what the country is like as well as Gloria herself being a bit of the stereotype of both the young, beautiful second wife and the very sexualised, passionate, loud Latina woman*. It doesn’t help that Jay, the patriarch, sometimes makes some insensitive comments about Gloria’s heritage, about his son, Mitchell, being gay and even the odd comment about Lily (the adopted daughter of Mitch and his husband Cam) as she’s Vietnamese-American. While Jay isn’t often framed as being in the right for these old-fashioned, offensive lines, he’s still generally framed as being a great guy on the whole.

The positives and more modern aspects

  Cam and Mitch- Mitch is Claire's brother and is married to Cam and while there’s the odd joke that hasn’t dated brilliantly about which one is more like ‘the woman’ in the relationship, for the most part, there's a lot that was good about them. For instance, the fact that they’re married and raising their daughter together is not portrayed as a big deal and they’re just as important to the show as the long-term straight couples. They’re also allowed to have different sides to them and different flaws and strengths as partners and parents rather than being complete stereotypes or seen as being more like the ‘man’ or the ‘woman’ in the relationship.

  Gloria and Jay-While there are definitely some elements of the glamorous, 'trophy' second wife and older, wealthy husband trope with them (especially with some of the arguably quite sexist way that DeDe (Jay’s ex-wife and Claire and Mitch’s mother) is spoken about)**, there’s more to this couple than meets the eye. For instance, Gloria is very glamorous and considered very desirable but she’s also strong, tough, determined, loyal and caring without taking that much of Jay’s bs and is able to stick up for herself and her loved ones. She also has some traditionally hyper-feminine interests and is a stay at home parent for much of the show but (like with Claire), contrary to what many may unfairly assume about stay at home parents, she’s also a complete badass. Also, for the most part, Jay and Gloria genuinely get on and like each other for who they are as people (not just for superficial reasons as they take their marriage/relationship very seriously). Also, even though the show plays a bit with the stereotypes associated with a couple like them, it's shown that they genuinely enjoy each other’s company and want to be together forever, not just until Jay finds someone younger. There's also a lot of heart to their interactions (which is also the case with the family as a whole.)

*Sadly, this has also had an unfortunate effect on how Sofia Vergara (who played Gloria) has become a bit typecast and the incredibly disrespectful and gross way that she's been uncomfortably sexualised and spoken to/about in interviews.

** There were definitely some good moments with DeDe but it was often an odd mixture of on the one hand, framing her in a bit of a sexist way with treating Gloria as a 'reward' for Jay staying with DeDe as long as he did but also going too easy on DeDe re her relationship with Claire as she treated Claire pretty terribly.