Precious love (a lil Peraltiago and Mac fan fic)

 Jake and Mac gave Amy a little wave as they watched her go as she walked into One Police Plaza for her first day as a chief. They then blew her some kisses and even as she got a bit further away, Jake could still tell that she was touched, especially with the way she’d hugged them both just before going in and warmly said that she loved them after Jake had said it to her. He was always super proud and in awe of her but that was all a bit intensified today, which is really saying something with how much she meant to him and the golden, glowy quality that he always saw when he looked at her. That glowy kind of precious love was how Jake felt about his little buddy too as he’d do absolutely anything for his family (yes probs even a half marathon) which was why even something so selfless and humbling, such as leaving his career behind while his friends and fellow parents got to succeed at work, suddenly seemed like an easy decision.(He was hardly new to the concept of total selflessness though and was 100% positive that family meant way more to him than even the job he’d loved so much. In fact, he’d been so all in after only dating Amy for six days that he'd been willing to get demoted but he didn’t really expect to choose to leave.)

He took Mac to the park to start the first day of this new chapter together and played with him on the slide. When they first started, it seemed like Mac had inherited the more impulsive side of Jake that others associated him with as he seemed to want to almost throw himself at the slide. That didn’t last too long, however, as despite being so young, Mac also had inherited Jake’s big heart and incredibly kind, caring, gentle nature. In fact, it even looked like he was trying to help out or teach a slightly younger child while Jake was watching him and kindly offering help and support to the kid’s Dad, another new stay at home parent. Jake then took his little buddy to the library to pick out some picture books and say hi to Auntie Kylie, who couldn’t remember why she’d had any doubts about him being good enough for Amy and now wished her partner was more like Jake as many of Amy’s friends did. 

Jake then set up a little picnic lunch for the two of them and even managed a quick facetime with Amy during her break as they were very excited to see her. Jake had already sent her some cute texts and adorbs pics of Mac at the library as her love of books had already rubbed off on their son. Amy said that Holt said hello (as he was finally learning Mac’s name) and showed her boys the notes and pics she’d put in her beautiful binder necklace and the pictures she’d put on her desk, which included one of the three of them from the day Mac was born and their wedding pic (the one with Holt, obvs). Jake told her once again how incredibly proud he was of her and how right her promotion felt and gave her (and Mac) the biggest heart eyes when Mac’s little face lit up at the sight of his mama. Amy in turn said she hoped he wasn’t missing the 99 too much but they then had to cut the call a bit short as she was needed back at work. 

Jake then took Mac to a soft play centre near the park. The idea of Mac ever hurting himself while playing or in a public place like that was a worry for both parents but Jake was obvs such a natural and so caring (even if he didn’t always see himself that way) that Mac was in the safest and most loving hands with him. This reminded Jake of all the times in his life that he’d felt anything but safe and he now hoped that partly because of his choice (right from before Mac was born) to put his family before himself and his professional aspirations (ie, the opposite of Roger), Mac would grow up feeling protected, safe and loved. 

There was actually a slight issue when it came time to head home as Mac got upset and didn’t want to leave. This was the kind of thing that had partly led to Jake being a bit unsure about having kids as people often described toddlers getting upset as a stressful, difficult thing. Mac wasn’t the type of kid to have tantrums at all and was now a very gentle, mostly content little boy. For Jake, anyway, he didn’t worry about how it looked or consider it an inconvenience as the only issue he had was that it broke his heart whenever their lil Macaroonie was unhappy. It broke his heart the way it had when Mac had cried at night as a baby as Jake had often cried too and/or gone right in to soothe him so that Amy could sleep as he just wanted to see his boy happy and make him laugh. Jake actually managed to get him to cheer up pretty quickly though it maybe didn’t feel like it at the time. While Mac was way too young to fully understand when his parents spoke to him or to say too much back (although his ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ never failed to melt their hearts and along with his laugh, were some of the best things that they’d ever heard), Jake still managed to comfort and reassure him with patience, compassion and love, which is how Jake responded to him all the time, even at his most tired moments. In fact, Jake told Mac he loved him all the time and showed it with how lovingly he cared for him too. In the end, Mac even snuggled into Jake’s hoodie a bit as he started to feel better. He so rarely had moments like these and found them pretty tiring. 

Jake thought about his decision to leave and what Amy had said during their video chat as he took Mac home and made a start on dinner. He knew he’d miss his job, that had never been in doubt. In fact, if anything, he maybe even missed it a bit less than he expected but it was still only his first day at this new job. He decided that he wouldn’t let it show that he missed the 99 too much though, as he wouldn’t Mac to grow up thinking he resented him, as that was absolutely not the case. However, as sure as he was about his decision, Jake also figured that there was no point in pretending that there weren’t things that he’d miss and miss out on such as social interaction and time with other adults, hanging with friends and his 99 family, pranks, undercover work, cases and hanging with Ames at work. He knew there'd be points when he'd miss it (and even some days when he'd maybe miss it a lot) and might occasionally wish that he could have career and family like the other 99 parents. 

He also thought of all the downsides he’d heard about being a stay at home parent, how people said that you often felt like you lost your identity, were made to feel insecure for not earning money and just dealt with tantrums and the difficult, less fun stuff most of the time. He’d also heard that it was boring, unappreciated, isolating and thankless with no breaks or respect. He was then brought back to how Amy had reacted when he’d told her about his plan to leave. While he was touched that she cared about his happiness, her reaction had kinda highlighted how much it seemed like he was giving up. He then felt a little down as the realisation of it being the end of an era and him no longer being called ‘Detective’ (a big part of his identity for years) started to sink in more. This was then followed by the realisation that he might get the odd bit of fomow or see less of Boyle(who might have less time for him with work, family and potential new partners etc) and that if he had a bad day, he wouldn’t be able to come home and chill or talk to Ames or any of the 99 squad in the breakroom or work on a case to take his mind off of it as home was his workplace now.

 However, he knew it was the best thing for his most important people and had absolutely no regrets about it as he sweetly read Mac a story after his nap. It’s interesting that while Jake was great with kids and loved hanging with his son, he’d noticed that based on what he’d read and heard before and after becoming a parent himself, it didn’t seem like looking after your kids was often described as anything other than a chore and a nightmare but Jake actually often found it to be very enjoyable (although he definitely now understood how truly difficult and al-consuming parenting could be). As the father and son duo enjoyed the book together, with Mac excitedly pointing at the pictures and even trying to say some new words, Jake was reminded of his suspension. It then fully dawned on him that some of his boredom had come from Mac being gone all day and that one of his highlights from his suspension was planning a super dope 1st birthday for (in Jake’s words) the cutest and most awesome kid in the world. 

Before they knew it, they’d finished their story and started to play together for a bit when Amy texted to say that she was almost done for the day and was excited to see them. Jake knew in that moment, as he felt how comfortable Mac was with him when he snuggled into him (Mac was often so comfortable with his parents that he made a habit of falling asleep on them as he felt so content), that while he’d given up a lot and would miss his old job, he wouldn’t have done it differently. For instance, he already knew what it was like to feel insecure about his intelligence and abilities and to be looked down on if they were some downsides that stay at home parents faced. Therefore, if it happened even more now or if someone was rude or judged their situation, he knew that that was their problem. Also, even with everything that he’d miss and that he’d given up, he respected how important it was to champion Amy’s career and the success that she deserved and to always be there for Mac. He also knew that even if it came at a pretty big cost for him and meant him sacrificing a lot, it was so worth it if his favourite people were happy and feeling good in great situations for them as that was the most important thing for him. He hadn’t necessarily expected to always enjoy everything about being at home other than being with Mac and maybe wouldn’t enjoy all of it but he knew that even the hardest times wouldn’t last. He also thought about how the challenging parts wouldn’t make him forget the bond he had with Mac. In that moment, he knew it would all be worth it as his certainty that he’d made the right decision (as Amy was thriving and improving the police and he was there for Mac 24/7) made him feel better as he had an indescribable amount of love for his fam. In fact Jake constantly hyped Ames up to their boy so that Mac would tell her he loved her, all while Jake would reassuringly hold her hand and plant a loving kiss on her forehead if she’d had a long day, to make her feel as loved as possible. The thought of his family (that was now everything to him) all made Jake very glad that he hadn’t really been left and in a coma for seven years as even though he’d only believed that for a second or so yesterday, he’d still felt so alone, betrayed, panicked, heartbroken and hurt.

Later that evening, Jake, after making the favourite foods of his favourite people to continue putting them first and before himself, read his book and did the dishes while Amy bathed and changed Mac. Once Jake had finished washing up, he fetched a drink for Amy and one for himself and thought about how once they'd all settled into this new life that felt somehow different and the same, they'd probably all do bathtime together. As he considered this, he could honestly say that he knew he’d never regret giving up his professional aspirations and dreams to spend all day every day with Mac. Who knows, maybe they’d even make some memories playing with some of Jake’s toys from his desk at his old job…