Feminism and sexism in sitcoms

As some of my earlier blog posts mentioned feminism in sitcoms, this post will explore feminism and sexism in sitcoms and the relationships between men and women in different shows.

Firstly, (and I apologise for starting on a bit of a downer), sitcom women haven’t always had the best time of it. For instance, shows like Cheers and Everybody loves Raymond haven’t dated well in terms of the treatment of women and even shows like Friends, which carried on into this century have some pretty sexist plotlines and aspects (such as Joey sleeping with countless women and not knowing their names or calling them back, Chandler’s fatphobia and shallow behaviour regarding women he dates and the whole Ross and Rachel story with him being possessive and not supporting her career but she still ends the show giving up her dream job for him…. I might make a Friends post at some point as there’s a lot to get into there.) 

Interestingly, Frasier, which was a Cheers spinoff featuring Frasier Crane as the lead character and ran at the same time as Friends, doesn’t fare as badly in terms of the treatment of women. However, it’s still a good way to demonstrate how far we’ve come and how far there is to go.

In fact, even some relatively recent sitcoms, such as How I Met Your Mother, New Girl (which I genuinely really like) and Modern Family have some punchlines and plots that feel a bit dated with regard to attitudes towards women with how even the generally beloved male leads occasionally talk about and treat women. This also ties into how many sitcoms still chose to focus slightly more on the dreams and careers of the men who get praise from characters and fans for doing the bare minimum. This is also the case with some of the lines dealing with LGBTQ + plus issues and race, as they feel a bit dated now too. This is perhaps especially the case with How I Met Your Mother as Barney’s actions and the ways he talks about getting women to sleep with him feel very offensive and inappropriate now, in my opinion. It’s also unfortunate that even Robin, who’s in many ways such a great, strong, independent character, demonstrates some internalised sexism in the show, possibly as a result of her upbringing. 

New Girl’s Schmidt is another interesting character to consider as he has such an extreme change with his growth. For instance, while he's very entertaining to watch, that might make some people overlook the fact that he demonstrates some pretty inappropriate and offensive behaviours within his relationship with Cece. This is shown with how he sometimes talks to/about her and objectifies her based on her looks and heritage and tries to strip her of some of her bodily autonomy when he tries to stop her breast reduction. However, when they’re together in the last few seasons, he grows SO much and becomes a very loving husband and a super dedicated and attentive Dad. Therefore, it depends on your outlook as to whether you ship them because of the incredibly loving and supportive relationship they have or if Schmidt’s infidelity, borderline sexist, offensive and/or kinda selfish and insulting attitudes and lines in the early seasons puts you off.

However, I believe the most sexist modern sitcom by far is The Big Bang Theory(TBBT), as I can’t even believe that a show like this was still airing in 2019. Whether it’s sober Leonard sleeping with drunk Penny, Raj’s pervy comments or Sheldon being the most egotistical, selfish, misogynistic jerk I’ve ever seen in a modern sitcom who’s constantly saying such offensive things*, this show’s leading men have countless red flags. That’s before we even get on to Howard being one of the perviest sitcom men of all time with the predatory and sometimes illegal ways that he creepily spies on women and tries to trick them into sleeping with him. There’s also his sleazy objectification of Penny as he frequently sexually harasses her in the early seasons and the show even tried to evoke sympathy for him when she rightfully called him out. The fact that even when Howard settles down with and marries Bernadette he doesn’t do any housework or pull his weight on the parenting front when they have kids (in a sexist, almost Everybody loves Raymond style, unfortunately) isn’t good either. There’s also the ‘jokes’ where the men (especially Sheldon) shame Penny for the number of men she’s been with as well as rudely insulting her intelligence. Just the fact that Penny ends up pregnant despite not wanting kids (after doing a similar plot with Bernadette) is another sign of the writers prioritising what the male characters want. For instance, the fact that not only do the men not face consequences for their very entitled behaviour but actively get rewarded with exciting job opportunities and celebrity encounters is very annoying too, as are the ‘jokes’ that refer to Amy being less ‘conventionally attractive’. Basically, the women on this show (and in many sitcoms) deserve so much better. Interestingly, it’s as if some other sitcom writers and producers were thinking the same thing, as in 2013 a certain, very special, very feminist sitcom came along…

Yes, it’s the very toit Brooklyn 99. It remains one of the most feminist sitcoms that I’ve ever seen, as well as being progressive with many social issues as it deals with infertility, racism, adoption, police brutality, coming out and sexual harassment. Not that it’s a perfect show by any means but it feels like it took all of the best parts of other high quality sitcoms and made them even better. Even the fan response to the characters shows a powerful, positive change as many sitcom women (such as Amy from Superstore, the TBBT women and Lily from HIMYM) received hate and/or harsh criticism from viewers that sitcom men don’t get nearly as much. However, with B99, Rosa and Amy receive so much praise, love and support from the fans and are respected rather than critiqued or villainised within the show. In fact, the leads are all proud feminists (as Hitchcock’s creepiness isn’t portrayed as ok) and the supportive friendships between the women are amazing. There are also such wonderfully healthy friendships between men and women and SO much healthy masculinity. For instance, even though Charles starts off by asking Rosa out a lot and not taking no for an answer, he ends up apologising as he accepts that she doesn’t feel that way about him and they go on to have a great friendship, which is actually pretty ground-breaking. It also gave us one of if not the most feminist and the absolute best sitcom man ever with Jake <3. Jake may not be perfect but he’s about as close as you can get and (unusually for a white and/or leading sitcom man) deserves better and more love and appreciation as he’s a true ally in every sense who puts practically all other fictitious (and real) white men to shame(just his reaction to Amy, his wife, telling him about harassment she’s faced speaks volumes about how much kinder and more respectful and caring he is than most). <3 He also admits his mistakes despite having the best and purest heart and intentions and he’s super selfless and prioritises Amy’s career, emotional wellbeing and happiness. He’s by far the best man, male ally, husband (and then Dad) in every way as he hypes Amy up, supports her and encourages her to go for her dreams and the success that she deserves even when he goes through so much and sacrifices so many of his own dreams. He also expresses disgust at men objectifying women as he truly believes in equality. He’s also SO amazingly loving, kind and empathetic in the tough times even when there’s nothing in it for him. For instance, he gets hurt by Amy several times and things are often a tad unfair with how he's treated as he’s often underestimated or considered less intelligent and sometimes framed as being wrong no matter what. The way that Jake (and the show) respects the female characters and gives them so much more agency is so important too and should be the case in more sitcoms.

Well, there you have it, some thoughts on women in sitcoms. It’s alright if you disagree (but please be respectful if you do) but I think that sitcoms need more women with agency and ambition and who get respect from the other characters at the centre of the stories and a lot less guys like the TBBT men, Ross and the HIMYM men and a lot more like the B99 men (The main guys are great and Jake’s the perfect man, imo, so definitely more guys like him <3). The Good Place’s Chidi, Parks and Rec’s Ben, Abbott Elementary’s Gregory and Superstore’s Jonah are also good examples of genuinely caring, decent, supportive, respectful guys and are a positive, welcome change.

*Sheldon's disrespectful selfishness in most of the finale was very telling and frustrating too. He really is SUCH an incredibly toxic combination of narcissism, sexism, borderline megalomania, hypocrisy and a pretty troubling lack of morals and compassion and makes many of even the crappiest TV boyfriends look like amazing partners in comparison.